Concerned

[Laddie's Mom]

Many thanks to all for your wonderful support. You are all so right, maybe Laddie was meant for me so I would get of my behind, meet folk, and get my life back again. I do walk daily, almost an hour, he loves it. I am also looking forward to joining these obedience/agility groups this October, I think that will help a lot. You are also right about using the name "Laddie" again. His full name is "Laddie McCanine" and I think I will take the advice and call him "Sir Laddie" at home, I already feel better.

Our GP, the only one we had here, moved back to his country, which was America, LOL, I was so jealous, he and his wife just did not feel "right" here, although he was an excellent doc, so, they left a few weeks ago, they were here a year. A new one is supposed to start soon, he is from the UK, so right now, I really have no doctor to talk to. I believe, however, "Doctor Laddie" will be my best source probably, my last Sheltie pulled me out of a super bad nervous breakdown, I worked with him all the time, trained and trained him, and before I knew it, I was better.

You are all the greatest,thanks again for your care and support.

 

[Mally's Mom]

First off Laddie McCanine is a terrrific name. And Sir Laddie sounds like one terrific sheltie.

I would give anything for our Mally to be friendly to everyone. Mally is very selective in who he is going to be friendly with. It would be a pleasure on a walk not to have to worry about having to cross the street when people are coming, to avoid a confrontation. Walking Mally can become a nightmare.

Mally loves me, I am his mommy, once Don comes home Don gets most of Mally's attention. Don says that is because dog's are pack animals and look to the leader and Mally sees Don as the leader of the people pack.

Even, Pogo, the dog we watch periodically for a friend who is not well, prefers Don over me. I am second in line to both the shelties. But that is okay with me, because they bring me a lot of joy and I know they both love me just not the same as they do Don.

I deal with depression as well, so I know where you are coming from in that area. Mally and Pogo keep me going throughout the day. They are so in tune to feelings (or should I say sensitive to feelings) which is a good thing.

ps Does your husband know that it hurts your feelings when he flaunts Laddie's wanting to be with him more than you? Sounds like he might be showing off a little bit, acting silly possibly. I would talk to him about it.
If Don hurts my feelings I let him know it right away so it does not snowball.
Most times Don didn't mean it to, he has no idea I take things a certain way. People can not read minds. And I am known to say, men are wired differently than women.

 

[Laddie's Mom]

First off Laddie McCanine is a terrific name. And Sir Laddie sounds like one terrific sheltie.

I would give anything for our Mally to be friendly to everyone. Mally is very selective in who he is going to be friendly with. It would be a pleasure on a walk not to have to worry about having to cross the street when people are coming, to avoid a confrontation. Walking Mally can become a nightmare.

Mally loves me, I am his mommy, once Don comes home Don gets most of Mally's attention. Don says that is because dog's are pack animals and look to the leader and Mally sees Don as the leader of the people pack.

Even, Pogo, the dog we watch periodically for a friend who is not well, prefers Don over me. I am second in line to both the shelties. But that is okay with me, because they bring me a lot of joy and I know they both love me just not the same as they do Don.

I deal with depression as well, so I know where you are coming from in that area. Mally and Pogo keep me going throughout the day. They are so in tune to feelings (or should I say sensitive to feelings) which is a good thing.

PS Does your husband know that it hurts your feelings when he flaunts Laddie's wanting to be with him more than you? Sounds like he might be showing off a little bit, acting silly possibly. I would talk to him about it.
If Don hurts my feelings I let him know it right away so it does not snowball.
Most times Don didn't mean it to, he has no idea I take things a certain way. People can not read minds. And I am known to say, men are wired differently than women.

Unfortunately, when I told Steve just a day or so ago how it hurt, it has now become even worse, he is really going out of his way to get Lad's attention, I really think it is on spite. He told me he had never heard of such a thing, hmmmm, weird. Our marriage is not good, in fact, Lad and I may be moving back to the states in October if things don't get better. I may not be perfect, but, I am not an "immature little boy" like Steve acts at times. He seems to want to "control" everything he is involved in. I thought once he knew, he would cool it some, but nope, not so.

I am glad you like my names, they really do suit him, and YES, he really is a terrific Sheltie. I had to laugh, when we got home today from visiting a friend, Laddie really jumped and greeted me, he sorted of ignored Steve, I know this is childish, but secretly, I was glad.

Depression is awful, and I know mine has gotten so bad since my move here from the states, I knew it would be hard, but wow, this is beyond hard, I wish Steve would give me more credit, I mean, man, I am 56, just uprooted from home to a strange country, and am having all kinds of hassles both health and relationship wise, I will pat myself on the back, actually, I am not doing to bad considering. The Lord has helped as well, plus little, sweet, Sir Laddie.

Thanks again for your comment, it means a lot to me. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who has the issue of the pup sort of favoring one more than another, I don't feel so badly now.

 

[Toffee's Mom]

sorry to hear that's not going well with the hubby

I can share a personal anecdote that JUST came to my mind when I read your reply...
I was visiting my sister home in Germany last year, and that relationship is a bit strained at the best of times... Him and I obviously also don't see eye to eye but tolerate one another since we both love my sister.
So those are the dynamics, plus there is a bit of alcohol abuse (in my opinion) involved...

They have a lovely Bearded Collie... so of course when I get there, missing my Sheltie, I do loads of stuff with the dog, train tricks and recall and all kinds of fun stuff, go for long offleash hikes in the countryside and so on. I am strong believer in positive enforcement so I ensure I include the dog in good things wherever I am. Always rewarding behaviours I like with treats from my pockets. I always carry a little kibble in my pockets, lol, even when I am in another country, apparently

So the dog of course bonds with me rather quickly, hangs out with me and isn't glued to his side at all anymore, the dog offers tricks and fun behaviours to me.

Well, my dear BIL lost his mind in one of his stupid, hissy fits and made the biggest, most ridiculous scene, he was THIS peeved off at me, it was shameful. I haven't talked to him since and went to stay with other Family members for the rest of the trip...
It is clearly a sensitive thing about our dogs and who they like, so you're not alone, for sure.
So, if I can win over my dingdong Brother in law's own dog you can make Laddy sweeter on you than on him, I am convinced
lol, hey I never said I wasn't catty
So start carrying kibble in yer pockets and do get on some trick training

 

[Laddie's Mom]

sorry to hear that's not going well with the hubby

I can share a personal anecdote that JUST came to my mind when I read your reply...
I was visiting my sister home in Germany last year, and that relationship is a bit strained at the best of times... Him and I obviously also don't see eye to eye but tolerate one another since we both love my sister.
So those are the dynamics, plus there is a bit of alcohol abuse (in my opinion) involved...

They have a lovely Bearded Collie... so of course when I get there, missing my Sheltie, I do loads of stuff with the dog, train tricks and recall and all kinds of fun stuff, go for long offleash hikes in the countryside and so on. I am strong believer in positive enforcement so I ensure I include the dog in good things wherever I am. Always rewarding behaviours I like with treats from my pockets. I always carry a little kibble in my pockets, lol, even when I am in another country, apparently

So the dog of course bonds with me rather quickly, hangs out with me and isn't glued to his side at all anymore, the dog offers tricks and fun behaviours to me.

Well, my dear BIL lost his mind in one of his stupid, hissy fits and made the biggest, most ridiculous scene, he was THIS peeved off at me, it was shameful. I haven't talked to him since and went to stay with other Family members for the rest of the trip...
It is clearly a sensitive thing about our dogs and who they like, so you're not alone, for sure.
So, if I can win over my dingdong Brother in law's own dog you can make Laddy sweeter on you than on him, I am convinced
lol, hey I never said I wasn't catty
So start carrying kibble in yer pockets and do get on some trick training

LOL, love it, and that is just what I am going to do. I mean, I know he really does not love Sir Lad like I do, when he talks to folks, he even tells them he loves Labs better, etc. and also, he forgets to let Lad in when he is out, and if I know it, I will let him in again, so, I don't think there is really "true" love there on his part.

Haha, I can't wait to start this strategy. I bet it works, thanks for the story, I am smiling now.

 

[Laddie's Mom]

and also, he forgets to let Lad in when he is out, and if I know it, I will let him in again,

Ugh, I guess I am guilty of this as well, especially when I am angry at Steve, I need to work on that.

Anyway, just got back from a nice, long walk, gave Lad some treats along the way. Man, it is cold out. I need to work on his heeling, etc outside. He is really good inside this big hall next to us, but when outside, he is the Tasmania devil, I guess being out makes him hyper, so, I need to work on that, what a difference between in and out.

 

[Laddie's Mom]

I am taking everyone's advice and just letting nature take its course in regards to how he reacts with Steve, etc. You know, I now am not as upset, and I think he feels it because he is really following me more, I guess I just need to relax and enjoy what ever happens. I do love him so much and it is silly of me to ruin any relationship with him by being silly.

 

[Tabitha]

I am taking everyone's advice and just letting nature take its course in regards to how he reacts with Steve, etc. You know, I now am not as upset, and I think he feels it because he is really following me more, I guess I just need to relax and enjoy what ever happens. I do love him so much and it is silly of me to ruin any relationship with him by being silly.

I'm so glad things are getting better. Keep up the good work! Maybe you can all take a vacation to the US soon.

 

[Laddie's Mom]

Hello, well, Steve is still Laddie's favorite, but, I am not as upset anymore, I can't change it, so, I just enjoy the time I do spend with him. I love our walks together, and he does sit with me at times. He seems to know when I am depressed, he licks my face and gets the cutest look. I do love him and am glad he is in our life.

 

[Mom2Melli]

Hi. I have a few things to point out in this thread too.

I had an Aussie who was the light of my life. I got a job with longer hours and we got a girl Aussie to keep him company. She ADORED my husband and my boy was MY boy. She was an older rescue so we lost her first. Eight months later we brought in another older male Aussie to keep my boy company when we were gone. It was "Quasar - angels singing in praise at his name" and "the other one". Not that I treated him bad, he was just there. He came from a lady who had to go into a rest home and I do think he was affected by that. On the other hand, he was just a reserved dog, not as sloppy demonstrative as the others. He was stoic by nature, actually. One day I was sitting with the two dogs and a lady came up to us. I was telling her their stories and she said, "Don't you see the way he looks at you? He adores you." THAT was my ah ha moment. While my Quay was my soul, Mayson became my best buddy and went nearly everywhere with me as our Quay declined and was gone. Our GSD x McNab pup came and became the light of our life. He is sensitive and demonstrative, and lives for us. Our old Mayson raised the pup, was a stoic as ever, and bowed out not long after I found out his lady passed away. I truly mourned my bestie. It's taken a year and a half for me to find and bring in my sheltie. Same thing, holding her a bit at a distance because I don't want my beloved Shay to feel ousted. But she adores me. I see it this time. I am vey proud of her achievements in 2 months of being with me -- including learning English from Spanish and skipping basic obedience to go right into intermediate -- and I am starting to love her back. Give it a couple more months and I will love her almost as much as our boy.

Perhaps you are not seeing it but it is there is my point. Maybe you are holding back and the dog takes a bit of a cue from that. Before you make a final decision regarding the dog, go to the dog school you mentioned in the other post. Work with the dog every day training, really training and praising and working as a team. Work on the "watch me" exercise and see the look in the little one's eyes when you do. Really look back at what you see there. There is likely more there than you think. I bet you will have an ah ha moment where you see the dog is closer to you than you think. Just because your dog runs to guests or hangs out with your husband doesn't mean he doesn't love you. You should rejoice in a well-socalized outgoing dog.

However, if you add another dog, well, there is certainly nothing wrong with having two. Just to shove the little aside. If your husband really is not bonded to him, and you find another, this little one will have no one. He would be sad and lonely and feel somewhat unwanted. That would be a shame because he is probably giving more than you are seeing. You just need the ah ha moment where you realize what a gem he is.

Again -- after you go through dog class and REALLY work every day on homework (practice), report back.