my very shy Sheltie.

B

Bellesmom

Forums Enthusiast
hello to all.. at the beginning of October this year, we bought a 12 month old sable female sheltie from a breeder we had previously gotten a puppy from.

The breeder told me that she was shy, but she didn't tell me that she had been abused by the fellow that lived upstairs. (he is gone now).. on the day that we got Belle, I noticed a lump in her ear and phoned the breeder who told me that she wouldn't have a clue what it was.. she didn't mention the abuse. well, a month later it was clear what the lump was. I noticed that the scab seemed to be coming away, examined the lump and saw a piece of metal. Took Belle to the vet who did surgery (local anesthetic) and extracted a metal pellet, one of the pointed kind. I phoned the breeder right away and she said that it was a shock, but she knew where it had come from, and admitted that the fellow had also thrown rocks at her dogs when they barked, and turned the hose on them. Should mention that the breeder is in a wheelchair, thus she could not do much to defend her dogs.

In any event, Belle is very frightened of my husband who bears a resemblance to the man who hurt her according to the breeder. We have had her almost 3 months and although she has mostly bonded with me, she runs in a panic if my husband approaches her. We bought a large bed for her and he has tried lying down by her, and patting her. I phoned the breeder who said that he should feed her and walk her, and he did take her for a walk and said it went well. The breeder suggested an umbilical line and that only served to frighten her of him even more. He is taking this very personally..

today we went shopping and bought her some all beef weiners so he could give her a little piece and she did take that from him.

does anyone have any suggestions what we can do? I suggested today that he totally ignore her except to give her a weiner treat once a day..

any help will be greatly appreciated.
 
I will throw a couple of ideas out there and hopefully others will chime in if these suggestions work.

First of all, I would have your husband hand feed all your dogs meals to her. I would not feed her out of the bowl at all, but rather all her meals should come from your husband. This will build up confidence with her that he is "ok" and will be the source of all of her food.

Another suggestion would be for your husband to do something that she enjoys that is physical. Let it be taking long walks, playing fetch, tug, anything that he can do to build a bond with her that lets her get out some energy physically.

If Belle is acting overly shy, scared, or cowering I would have your husband (and you) ignore her. She needs to learn that this is not the kind of behavior that will get any type of attention.

If Belle starts to do something like walk near your husband, or be in the same room as him, etc. she should be praised. Do this in a way that makes her happy (softly) but not in a way that will scare her.

I have heard that if the person who the dog is fearful of yawns a few times and is not looking at the dog, they see that the person is relaxed and then they relax as well. Dogs can tense when people are uptight. Belle needs to see that everyone around her is calm.

You want to build confidence in your dog, so this is going to take time.

One of our members just purchased something called a Thunder shirt. This is supposed to give a feeling of the dog being "swaddled" and relaxes the dog. This may be a good investment for you to get her and let her wear. Something about the swaddling settles the dog down and lets them be calmer.

Some confidence builders are agility classes, flyball, herding....something that your husband can do with your dog that is fun.

My rescue took years. I just talked about this in another thread, but she did not completely come out of her shell until we started doing agility classes with her. Agility was something that she really enjoyed and it built up her confidence and this confidence followed through into everyday life.
 
these are very good suggestions.. she doesn't fetch or play tug yet, but he can take her for walks.. as for feeding, I wonder if he will have patience to feed her every little bit of her kibble by hand..

I've read of the yawning before, and that is definitely worth trying. I've not heard of the Thunder shirt before, do you know where they are available? we are having her spayed plus a hernia (something else the breeder didn't tell me about :rolleyes2: ) repair in January and I wanted to get her a shirt to wear then..

we are definitely going to do the classes in the Spring, starting with obedience.
 
Belle is very lucky to be in your home now. It sounds like she did not have much of a life at all where she came from. You and your husband are very good people to be willing to put in the time to help Belle out instead of just getting frustrated with her. I really commend you both for that.

Here is a thread where our member, Michele, goes into some detail about the thundershirt that she is using on her little double merle, Mia, who is both blind and deaf. Her story is remarkable, and it sounds like this shirt is a blessing for them.
http://sheltieforums.com/showthread.php?t=8380&highlight=thundershirt
 
danisgoat said:
My rescue took years. I just talked about this in another thread, but she did not completely come out of her shell until we started doing agility classes with her. Agility was something that she really enjoyed and it built up her confidence and this confidence followed through into everyday life.
Click to expand...

I wanted to re-post this because it can take a long time for extremely shy dogs to overcome their fears, so be prepared. It's hard not to take it personally when your dog is running away from you, but hopefully she should take to your husband with time.

Nike was brutally afraid of my husband when we got him. Some things that worked for us:

- DH would drop treats any time he walked near Nike. He wouldn't acknowledge him, just drop treats. Soon Nike began to view DH's presence as the coming of yummy tidbits and started to look forward to his presence.

- We also worked with me sitting in a room with Nike and having DH come in. When we started this, DH wouldn't address Nike, just come in, linger (get a book or what have you) and then leave. When DH would be in the room, Nike would get treats and praise. As soon as DH left, all the fun stopped. DH would come in a minute later and all the treats and praise would start up again. Once this started to sink in, DH would toss treats in Nike's direction when he came in the room, tossing them a shorter distance (to get Nike to come to him) each time Nike got more comfortable. As DH started tossing treats, my own treat dispensing would lessen so DH was the bearer of all things chicken-y-wonderful.

- Walks, lots and lots of walks. DH would praise Nike for relaxed behavior.

They've bonded now, best buddies which is wonderful to see. It can be a challenging process but very rewarding. I'll second that Nike is really coming out of his shell in agility. He enjoyed the rally and obedience classes we took but his progress in agility is amazing. If Belle likes it, I'd give agility classes a try!
 
I concur

I really recommend that your husband's hand feeding her is essential going forward. All good and calm things should come from him, lol.

Continue rewarding all kinds of good behaviour towards your husband, get him to carry treats (even the wieners) in his pockets :) Unexpectedly get hubby to give her treats when she is close, not touch her head, not talking to her, no petting her just yet, until she comes to him for it.

It is GREAT news she went for a walk with him, so she is definitely starting to develop a bond. See if she would play ball with him? I don't think it is going to be that long, she will come around! Compared to some of the other timid and shy Shelties stories we have heard about in this Forum, I think she is making progress and at least walks with him and so forth.

I find Shelties very sensitive and in tune and sometimes you have to 'earn' their cuddles and lovings and when you finally get that it makes it even more special!!! So tell that to your husband, that he will feel so much more special to your little lady once she comes to him for protection and lovings :)
 
My Aurora due to an attack at four months old was very spooky around all people and other dogs. I never pushed her, and everything has always been done in her comfort zone. It has helped for me to hand friends treats, to ignore her, not look at her, but offer up the treat if she came up to them. The biggest difference was made over last winter when my friend and I would train a couple of times a week at the training building here, and she'd bring her two daughters, who were very dog savvy. They wouldn't look at her, and were loaded up with treats. She gradually learned if she came up to people, good things would happen, and that people weren't going to force themselves on her, or hurt her. She will now approach most people, and give a little tail wag in hopes of a cookie. She will even let people who know how to act around a dog touch and pet her.
Stick with it. You've got a lot of work ahead of you. It's just going to take a lot of time to undo the damage that was done. I am the breeder of Aurora. The attack happened at 4 months. She is now approaching 2.5 years old. She is better, but will never be perfect. She probably never will be. It's been a lot of long hard work getting her to where she is now.
 
Infiniti's suggestions all sound really really good. Hopefully it is some reassurance to you all that there are other out there going through the same thing as you are. Don't lose hope!
 
All of these suggestions are really good. I just wanted to chime in and let you know that Tisol carries Thundershirts (at least the one on Grandview Hwy in Vancouver does)

Good luck!!
 
I just posted on your other thread. These are all great ideas. One other suggestion - have your husband get down to her level. If he is tall, she will feel threatened. If he is sitting, perhaps he can leave a trail of her kibble at feeding time, or bits of treats or raw fruit or veggies if she likes these right up to him and in his hand as well. It will take time but it can be done.
 
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