Re-homing my Sheltie, and terribly distressed!

A

astronut

Forums Novice
Help please! I need advice, or someone to just hear me out ...

I am most likely re-homing my sheltie in the coming weeks, and it's making me really sad, and confused, and I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing.

I have a 2 year old sheltie that I got 1 week before finding out I was pregnant. I made the decision to get a dog in the first place when I was going through a very difficult period of my life. Frankly, I wasn't thinking straight. It clearly wasn't a good time to get a dog, and I made a mistake. Irregardless, before my son (now 1.5 yrs old) was born, I devoted myself to him 100% and really enjoyed having him. Once my son was here, and my maternity leave was over, things got a bit more complicated. My husband works very long hours, so it's mainly me taking care of my son and the dog, and working full time. This makes things like walks a bit tricky. I don't like bringing Largo (our sheltie) to dog parks with my son, because I don't think it's safe. So, his off-leash time went down considerably. On leash, walks are difficult with a stroller, he barks unpredictably at people and other dogs. In the winter (we live in Canada) this can be downright dangerous, as the streets are icy and snowy.

Now, I'm pregnant again, and giving Largo the attention he deserves and the exercise he needs just seems like an impossible task with 2 kids, 2 different daycares to go to in the morning, work, etc. My son isn't the best with him all the time either. He is only a baby after all. We do our best to try to get him to be respectful of the dog, but we can't be watching him every instant, and sometimes he goes too far, pulling the dogs hair or hitting him. Largo has nipped him (warning bite) a few times, and it can be a bit worrysome. With 2 kids to watch, and him, I worry that one day Largo will really lose his patience.

So, for all these reasons, and probably some more that I forgot to mention, I think I should re-home him. I don't want him to just go to anyone, because I really do love him! Through family friends I've come into contact with someone that lives in the country and has a ranch. They're a couple, and they have always had dogs. Their last dog was a border collie, I believe. The happiest I've EVER seen Largo is in the country (my mother in law has a country house and she sometimes brings him). When he's there, he's like a different dog entirely. It's frankly quite something to see. Oh yeah, we live in the city.

So, we're going to go see these people and where they live next weekend. I'm completely distraught though. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or just what's most convenient for me. I think that this new environment will be nicer for him. If the people can give him more attention that me, and he's in the country, it seems like the ideal life for a dog. But, I'm worried that he'll be traumatized for life at having been "left" by us, and not seeing us again. I don't want to break his heart. Do dogs even feel that way? I will also miss him terribly. He's a sweety :( I also feel like a ****ty person, doing this. It just seems like the ultimate failure as a dog owner.
 
If it is not working, it is responsible to find someone who can give a better life. However, you need to be willing to take the dog back if it ever does not work out. Dogs switch owners pretty well. Look at all the dogs in shelters who get a second chance at life with someone else. If they have a happy new life, they become happy.

Be open and honest with the people and go with your gut and your judgment both. Be prepared for a transition time and make sure they understand and are willing to be patient during a transition.
 
Mom2Melli said:
If it is not working, it is responsible to find someone who can give a better life. However, you need to be willing to take the dog back if it ever does not work out. Dogs switch owners pretty well. Look at all the dogs in shelters who get a second chance at life with someone else. If they have a happy new life, they become happy.

Be open and honest with the people and go with your gut and your judgment both. Be prepared for a transition time and make sure they understand and are willing to be patient during a transition.
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+1.

One thought: if you got him from a breeder, please, please contact him or her (if you haven't already done so). Good breeders are in it for the life of the dog, and they are usually willing to take the dog back, or to assist you in finding an awesome home. Don't let guilt stand in your way on this - your breeder will (should!) thank you for your candor, and may be a great resource in finding a good new home. As a breeder, I know I would want to know - just so I knew where the dog was, and that he was in a good situation.
 
It is a very sad situation. No doubt about it. But you've probably already beaten yourself up over a bad choice. If you honestly don't think you can give him a good life then it is a better decision you are making.

Yes he will grieve, yes he will be upset and he will experience loss, confusion and all those emotions. Eventually he will move on if he goes somewhere he loves. He's probably still got another 14 years and you want him to spend those happily.

With going to a ranch. It does sound like a fun choice for a sheepdog but do remember Shelties aren't like big farm dogs, they don't like being left outside and prefer to hang inside with their family in a shoe box than run around acreage alone. Just make sure the new people are aware of this. You might also try a 'trial period' for the adoptees to make sure things work out.
 
It sounds like you are just a bit overwhelmed, and this may not be the best time in life for you to have a dog. In particular the nipping behavior has to be controlled now, or it could have a very unhappy ending for this puppy. This country home may be a good fit for him, but I would also contact your breeder first and see if they want to have him back or help with the rehoming decision.
 
Years ago, we adopted a two-year-old Sheltie who was being rehomed by his owners. He adapted in no time -- we even changed his name and he learned it in a day. Bandit was a love and a great dog and never showed any signs of distress at changing homes at 2. Breeders frequently rehome retired show dogs who are adults, and they also do well.

If Largo is too much for your lifestyle right now, it would be kinder to find him a home where he'll have the attention he needs. I second what tofupup said though...if you got him from a breeder, do contact them and see if they can help you. Most breeders want to know where their pups are throughout their lives and will help you find a good home for your pup.
 
I ditto everything that has been said in the replies you have gotten. Having worked in dog rescue for years I have seen many little dogs rehomed and although there is a transition period as they get used to having lost the family they knew...they do make the transition and do go on to live wonderful lives with new, loving families.

In your current situation it sounds like either returning Largo to his breeder (and please do this if you got him from a reputable breeder!!) or rehoming him to a good home is in everyone's best interest. Just make sure you are 100% comfortable with the new family...ask for their vet's name to check them out to make sure that previous pets have been well taken care of.

One thing that is really important to Largo's safety as he makes the transition...make sure his new family understands that until he has bonded totally to them he will not be safe off lead, even for a few minutes, outside of a fenced area. Given a chance he will try to find his way home to you. This bonding transition time can take several weeks or even many months depending on the dog's personality and how deeply they were bonded to their first person/family.

Trini
 
Focus more on the attention he will get than the 'country'. It sounds like it is a good match but the country is not a magical place for a Sheltie his people are. Sounds like you are making a good choice for him overall though. Good luck with everything.
 
I don't know much about rehoming, but I do know a few things about having to give up a beloved pet, and I think you're being very brave. It's your responsibility as a pet owner to ensure that your animals get the very best, and if you don't feel like you can provide that for him in your situation, then you're probably doing the right thing. But it's still hard.

It sounds like this couple may be a good choice, especially since they have experience - if their last dog was a BC, a sheltie ought to be a nice fit. BCs aren't yard dogs either, and the breeds have a lot in common. Will you be able to stay in contact with them? Maybe come by, check up on him, and see how they connect? Go with your gut. If it feels right, it probably is.

My sister was in a similar situation a few years back. She lived in Rotterdam with a husband, kids and a chihuahua. Then the third child came around... If I remember correctly, little Nemi was about three years old when she moved from the city to the sea. It was the right choice - even if it was a tough one.
 
trini gilmore said:
I ditto everything that has been said in the replies you have gotten.

One thing that is really important to Largo's safety as he makes the transition...make sure his new family understands that until he has bonded totally to them he will not be safe off lead, even for a few minutes, outside of a fenced area. Given a chance he will try to find his way home to you. This bonding transition time can take several weeks or even many months depending on the dog's personality and how deeply they were bonded to their first person/family.

Trini
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I can not agree more Trini! My fear is he will want to 'get back' to his original owners! A ranch may be a great place but not off lead and without supervision. Certainly NEVER left outside alone.

As a person who has adopted 4 shelties I can say that their is certainly a period of mourning the loss of their prior owner and routine. Some take longer than than others to adjust. With plenty of LOVE and CONSTANT affection and attention they will come around. What I have done with ALL my rescues is take them to a beginner obedience course right away. That way they seem to bond to me much faster. They look for my guidance.

As others have said ... PLEASE, PLEASE contact the breeder first! I had a similar situation. I adopted a Belgian Sheepdog puppy and then had to move suddenly and my job kept requiring more and more overtime! I contacted the breeder and she took the pup back without any questions.... she was so nice and accommodating I really appreciated that.

Please do not beat yourself up. You are doing the right thing under the circumstance. Good luck!
 
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