sad and discouraged

M

Meldor

Forums Enthusiast
I was taking Kyara out after coming home from work and since I live in a condo no choice but to leash her up and go outside.

As she was doing her business I see my new downstairs neighbor bringing his grocery in. So obviously my terrified of strangers reactive sheltie starts barking her head off so I move away to try and calm her and keep on moving as far as I can to get a good watch me. Finally she calms down and neighbor is out of site so I return towards our condo but as I approach our door neighbor comes out of his, startling Kyara who starts barking.

He approaches closer saying ''I used to train dogs'' I'm like ''Okay she is scared'' as I am trying to old onto the leash of my panicking barking growling Kyara, he keeps on approaching and starts yelling at my dog to lie down. I just put myself between him and my barking/freaking out Kyara. And he's like ''Your dog is agressive'' I said ''No she never bit anyone, she is scared of strangers, I'm working on training her''. Anyhow he keeps on talking as Kyara barks and I finally manage to get away from him and get inside.

It takes no time for me to get all teary. I am trying to train my dog as best as I can, I even found volunteers and started doing some BAT set ups, I'm also working on loose leash walking and just yesterday manages to be beside a very busy park about 20 feet away from a dozen of adults and children with a Kyara being nervous but silent.

I know we are doing some progress in short time but last night I crossed another neighbor who also commented but in a more nice manner like wanting to know why she barked so much at him, if I thought she might bite someone, etc. So I am pretty down in the dumps about it all.

I know I'll keep on working on it, she's only 11 months old! But gosh can it be tough to have a reactive dog. I just don't want any complaints against her. I know she is a sweet dog but she is so anxious outside like 90% of the time :(. ANyhow I needed to vent on the forum since I know some people on here have had their share of problems with Barking lunging shelties and embarrassments related to it.
 
I completely understand what you're going through!

My sheltie is exactly like Kyara. I live in a condo as well, so I know how tough it can be. I am worried about my neighbor's complaining as well. Bailey does the same thing that Kyara does when she sees a neighbor in or right in front of my building. She barks and lunges at them...even when I'm holding her in the elevator. Inside my condo (i live in an apartment style condo), she barks whenever a neighbor is going in or out of their home.

It's so frustrating. I've been living there since May and Bailey is only getting worse. On Sunday, my neighbor had a repair or delivery man in her home. He must have went in and out about 15-20 times in one hour. Bailey was going nuts. It was so bad.

I am still trying to arrange a meet up with a trainer, but I think I may need to go to a vet. behaviorist.
 
I feel your pain. My first dog, Maverick, I socialized a lot and he has never been reactive to strangers, kids, dogs, bikes etc on walks. My second dog Ryder is reactive to it all. Unfortunately some is rubbing off on Maverick. I think that 80% of my problem is I am stressed every time I see something on the street I know Ryder reacts to. I think the stress runs down the leash.
I know its hard not to get frustrated, so when I do, I walk away, take deep breaths and start again. Tomorrow is always a new day.
Ignore the idiot in your condo. Seriously you would not discipline a strangers child so don't discipline some one else s dog.
 
I know how you feel, too. When I used to walk Bentley in our old neighborhood I had neighbors pick up their 50+ lb dogs like Bentley was going to break free from his leash and attack.

I have also had many people tell me how to "fix" his reactivity, and it just drives me crazy. They love to act like you're not trying.

All you have to remember is that those people don't know you, and sounds like they don't really know dogs that well either. Think about the bond that you have with Kyara, and try to focus on positive steps, and wonderful moments that you've shared. Forget the other people. They don't matter!
 
corbinam said:
I know how you feel, too. When I used to walk Bentley in our old neighborhood I had neighbors pick up their 50+ lb dogs like Bentley was going to break free from his leash and attack.

I have also had many people tell me how to "fix" his reactivity, and it just drives me crazy. They love to act like you're not trying.

All you have to remember is that those people don't know you, and sounds like they don't really know dogs that well either. Think about the bond that you have with Kyara, and try to focus on positive steps, and wonderful moments that you've shared. Forget the other people. They don't matter!
Click to expand...

Ashley is SO right!!!

Gosh, beware of ALL people claiming to have been dog trainers in the past, they usually suck.. especially ones that obviously can't read terrified body language and want to flood a dog!!!!
:rolleyes2::mad:

One step at a time, day by day... reactive dogs are a handful but you can and WILL do it!!!

I never thought I was gonna be able to turn Toffee around... and he's still a bit of a dork but all in all he's gome SO FAR, I have no doubts that as long as you keep up your positive training you will turn her around also while increasing her confidence!

PS Keep dropping treats each time the butthead next door is nearby :D
 
Please don't be discouraged. So many times with our dogs, it is two steps back and one step forward. Just stay the course. One thing that might help is if you could walk your pup with another older dog that is totally mellow, and doesn't react. Maybe see if you could meet someone in your complex with a older quiet dog, and make a new friend. Part of this behavior is her age, but unless it is corrected, will become a bad habit. All of our young dogs pick up their cues from the older dogs. The good and the bad..:wink2:

I truly understand your frustration and hurt. Sometimes we think if we just love them enough, they will understand, and behave. Unfortunately, they can only work with what they know, and thus, comes compasionate training for the fearful dog.
 
My new rescue dog Greyson (who is 3 years old) does the same thing. We live in a townhouse and I'm pretty sure my neighbors think he is vicious because of his reactive barking. He would never hurt a fly, but they don't know that. I don't have any insight to provide, but you have my sympathy!
 
I know exactly what you are going through. My Danny Boy acted the same way. Age and training have mellowed him but he still has his triggers for going Cujo. Of course my neighbor who thinks of himself as a dog whisperer always tries to train him like going shsst, shsst.... Or trying to tap him with his foot. This drives me crazy. Let him get his own dog to train. Danny Boy peed on his new tennis shoes last time he stopped to chat! Another neighbor asks if he's going to bite him - hello he's on a leash, he's not going to get near you. Actually the last time I was walking Danny and this neighbor was coming I approached him to chat and Danny didn't even bark. He kept giving him stink eye though. Maybe you can enlist these neighbors in your training. Or you can just ignore them. Cheer up things will get better.
 
Barking

What an idiot your neighbor is!! I agree with Toffee's Mom, he seems a control freakster as well as a bully and self proclaimed trainer. No real trainer would approach a dog that way!

That being said, it is difficult I know but hang in there Meldor, it will get better. My Harper Lee goes ballistic with strangers but we have a yard between us and people. Condo living doesn't afford as much freedom but you will suceed.

Do they have leash laws for your neighbors? That might prove your best bet!:biggrin2:

Don't let the idiots get you down. Don't stress, Kyara will pick up on your stress levels.


Best, and keep us posted.

Kate
 
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