Sometimes a hug is NOT what's needed!

Woodbender · Mar 30, 2015

So progress is mostly good. Claire is trying harder to communicate with us but still doesn't quite know how to interact. She is coming in the house more and more on her own and we rarely have to go out now to bring her in (that's big). So yesterday we went to church and had to place her in her crate.
The crate by itself is not a hardship for her. She eats meals in there (door open) and has extra yummy snacks there with no issues at all and actually looks there in anticipation when she knows she's done something we like.
So we got home from church and I wanted to be the one to let her out since I was the meanie who placed her in there. She was barking of course which is normal when anyone comes home. But this time she sounded a bit panicky. I opened her door to bring her out and tried to hug her to pet her and calm her down a little.
Bad idea. Apparently she interpreted that as someone trying to entrap her or immobilize her. She barely put up with it but as soon as I let her go she was very afraid of me. As soon as I opened the slider she reverted to her past behavior of bolting out the door to the yard. If I had opened the door any slower she would have slammed into the glass again.
It was a hard day for me as well as her. I set her back a little in her trust and that usually hurts me more than her. But this morning all is well and she was allowing 'daddy scritches' again when I went to work.

JacqueZ · Mar 30, 2015

Aww, poor both of you! It's always hard when our furry companions are hurting and we can't comfort them.

I'm glad she's worked through it and back to normal. It's great hearing your progress with her.

Ann · Mar 30, 2015

Tim, I can imagine how you felt after the wonderful progress you've made with Claire, but I'm sure these little setbacks are normal. Others who are more experienced with rescue than me can give you more information I'm sure. But Shelties are such a sensitive breed with very long memories and I think that's what you confronted yesterday.

I'm glad it passed, and the good news is that I think it will take Claire much less time to get back to the happy place she was in before yesterday. Continue to treat her normally with lots of treats and love. Eventually, these little blips will become less and less frequent. Hang in there!

trini · Mar 30, 2015

Tim, first of all these set backs are 100% normal in a little dog's journey to learn to trust when life has previously taught her that trusting might be dangerous. Secondly, you mention that her barking sounded unusually stressed which would make me suspect that while you guys were not home something happened (perhaps a noise outside) that scared her...it could have been a noise that brought back a memory she associated with something negative that had happened to her.

If only these little souls could tell us what demons lie in their past it would be so much easier. But even without the benefit of that knowledge, you are making fantastic progress helping her feel safe and loved. Depending on the depth of the emotional damage from the past, some dogs will always have triggers that may send them back into defensive mode. Time will help lessen these, but for some they never fully go away.

Trini

Sullivan · Mar 31, 2015

Tim, I'm sorry this was an experience that both Claire and you had to go through. As others have stated, there are "boogeymen" in her past that you will never know, but still oh so real to her. She is trying really, really hard to trust you and your wife so you just have to continue moving forward and at some point you and Claire will work it all out. As I said earlier, just remember, patience is a virtue. :fl

Woodbender · Mar 31, 2015

You guys are the greatest, thanks! :biggrin2:

Chris · Mar 31, 2015

Tim, we had a very enlightening experience with an animal communicator named Marta Williams. We learned things that were very helpful for our fearful boy Beckon. If you would like more information, just PM me.

Silaria · Mar 31, 2015

Woodbender said:
It was a hard day for me as well as her. I set her back a little in her trust and that usually hurts me more than her. But this morning all is well and she was allowing 'daddy scritches' again when I went to work.

Tim, I'm so sorry you had a bit of a setback with Claire. Unfortunately there are some demons she'll never be able to completely exorcise from her life.

I want to call your attention to the sentence I highlighted above. The very fact that she was back to allowing scitches in the morning tells me she's already forgiven you for the oops and is a fantastic reflection on just how far she's come.

Keep up the good work with her. She's already a special part of your family and I have a feeling she knows she's in a place where she's loved and cared for.

Chris said:
Tim, we had a very enlightening experience with an animal communicator named Marta Williams. We learned things that were very helpful for our fearful boy Beckon. If you would like more information, just PM me.

Chris, I was thinking about the experiences you and Cheryl had with animal communicators and was wondering if this may be something useful for Tim to help him understand her fears and triggers. Thank you so much for suggesting it.

jomuir · Mar 31, 2015

trini said:
you mention that her barking sounded unusually stressed which would make me suspect that while you guys were not home something happened (perhaps a noise outside) that scared her...it could have been a noise that brought back a memory she associated with something negative that had happened to her.Trini

That's what I was thinking too, that something happened that scared Claire while you were out of the house, and you'll never know what it was. Could have been someone at the door knocking loudly, a sudden very loud boom outside, etc. And when you came home & let her out, she was a reactive mess at the moment you tried to comfort her, she was mentally out of your reach. Poor girl, she's got her demons though they're weaker now. Just think of how terrified she was when she first came home, and how far she has come.

Woodbender · Mar 31, 2015

jomuir said:
That's what I was thinking too, that something happened that scared Claire while you were out of the house, and you'll never know what it was. Could have been someone at the door knocking loudly, a sudden very loud boom outside, etc. And when you came home & let her out, she was a reactive mess at the moment you tried to comfort her, she was mentally out of your reach. Poor girl, she's got her demons though they're weaker now. Just think of how terrified she was when she first came home, and how far she has come.

Yeah that bark has been replaying in my mind too. First impression might be correct here and that is we took a bit of time yaking and laughing in the garage with my 86 year old father. Rattling the key in the door took some time too. So yeah I'm sure that added to her stress level. She REALLY wanted out of that crate.
So in spite of the crate "sensitivity training" we're having some issues with that. As mentioned earlier she receives meals in there just fine and gets extra yummy snacks/rewards there too. So she is not afraid OF the crate. But we're seeing a confinement trigger I think. It will take time. Very soon we will be taking her on the road with us when my childbride accompanies me on training trips and family vacations. She will have to be in the crate.
We have NO luck at all actually enticing her into the crate although she does eat there. She ALWAYS has one foot out for a quick getaway. We typically have to pick her up and (as gentle as possible) place her in it. That's not normally a smooth operation. I will confess, I could use some help with that if anyone has suggestions. :rolleyes2:

Chris it sounds like others on the list may be interested in your animal communicator person of interest. Would it be appropriate to put a link in a reply or should that be a PM as you suggested?