Please try not to compare Spice to Smokey. I know it's difficult but they are all so different comparing them isn't really fair. I have a littermate pair who are incredibly different. My boy will snuggle on his terms (briefly), work until he drops in performance sports, and will follow you around the house because he has to know where his people are. His sister, on the other hand, is a snuggle bug with ANYONE, prefers to be the queen of the couch, and, when asked to work in performance sports, will give as little effort as necessary to get her reward. Two very different dogs
One thing you can do with Spice right now is just leave her alone. I know that sounds bad but let me explain. When going about your business in the house, do just that. Let her exist with the family but pay little mind to her (except to not step on her). Whenever she comes up to someone voluntarily, praise her with something like 'Hello Spice. What a good girl.' keeping your tone light, happy, and calm. When you have visitors over, ask them to ignore her unless she approaches them. If she does approach, same thing, verbal praise but don't reach for her - not yet anyway. If you are comfortable leaving treats around the house, place some sealed containers throughout the house with treats in them for family and friends to reward her with. They can, gently, toss the treats at her feet.
Basically you are allowing SPICE to make the approaches while you are going about your daily life. The more normal you can be the more use to the normal she will get. It's only been 1 month since she's been uprooted from everything she knew and she's uncomfortable. Our girl KNEW us pretty well before we brought her home at 3 years old and she was still out of sorts when was placed with us. I don't know how much socialization the breeder did with her as a young pup so it's quite possible everything she's experiencing IS new and scary for her. Taking a deep breath and giving her time to adjust will be the best thing you can do.
Oh and who feeds her? I find with Spitfire that the person who controls the food bowl gets bumped up on his friend list fairly quick (well for Spitfire)
I was thinking about this also. If you want to build a connection with your wife and son, let them feed her instead of you. They become the source of a critical resource and, since she'll be receiving food during the interaction, it will be a positive thing for her. If it's possible for them to hand feed her (assuming you are using kibble), even better - though she may not be ready for this. The same with walks, let your wife take Spice out for a walk and have positive interactions with her.
