It's never going to be "her", is it?

M

MaybeSomeday

Forums Novice
I suppose I should say hello. I do apologize for the jumbled mess you are about to read; my heart is aching for a dog- strike that, a friend, I've not seen in ten years now.

Anyway. My name is Jen. I am dogless. As many of you likely did, I grew up with a sheltie. She was my best friend and truly, one of those rare dogs that just is perfect for it's person. When I was twelve years old, she disappeared from our yard. I will never know what happened to my girl, though I suspect my stepmother dumped her.

After her disappearance, my father bought me a pet store sheltie. Yeah. You know how that story ends.

I find myself absolutely scouring breeder's websites and petfinder hoping to find one that says "ME!". I have called about a few here and there, but then it turns out the dog is not suitable for our home. Nice dogs, just timid, extremely arthritic, or whatnot. I have called a few breed clubs and told them our situation, that we need a dog (I don't want a puppy, thanks) who will neither eat the cats nor my son (put better than that, I promise! lol). You'd think I'd asked it be gilded in gold. I do realize there is going to be work acclimating an adult dog to our family, I'm not asking for the moon here. However, the reaction to asking for a, well, a sane pet, has been a bit... shocking. Apparently shelties now make a habit of eating the family cat and taking off a child's nose? I think not. However, I have seen what happens when a dog turns on a child firsthand, so am rather more aware of the possibility than most, I guess.

I think though, I am asking the impossible of the dog. It is not going to be my old girl. It. Just. Won't. She is dead. There. Dead. Gone, no more, passed on. I said it.

So how in the blankety blank do I quit looking with such hope into every little face, thinking "Oh please. Please please please."

I want a sheltie for my son, probably sometime next year. Well, I want one like yesterday, but he is two, after all. ;) I want him to have that relationship. Heck, *I* want that relationship again!

Bah. I need to get my DH to stick sticker to these dogs heads that say "Not Your Girl" or something so I can see them for themselves and quit dreaming about somehow having her come home. :(

Anyway. Please tell me I'm not alone. And tell me to pull myself together and go find a nice polite dog to join our family.
 
Welcome, Jen -- you've come to exactly the right place. My heart goes out to you, and no, you're not being unreasonable, just human. It's so hard to let go of a memory of the "perfect" Sheltie because a childhood memory is often just that: perfect. We remember all the love and joy, but were probably pretty unaware of any flaws or issues.

Sadly, many rescue Shelties are troubled. Not all, but some. And I agree -- it seems rescues are so demanding that it's next to impossible to measure up or afford them.

I would recommend waiting until your little one is three, though. Very little ones are sometimes impulsive and startle Shelties. I'll PM you -- I have some ideas.
 
It's really hard. When people call the rescue wanting something that specific (i.e. an adult dog with kid and cat experience), we tell them it's going to be a while. And that is before you add in the color and gender wishes. We also try to dissuade people from trying to exactly replace a dog, because it can't be done. Nothing we have, or any breeder has is ever going to replace a dog.

I recently sold a 10 week old puppy to an extended family that included a 1 year old grandbaby, a cat, and a Weimeraner. She is doing quite well. The video is below. I think she was about 4 months old in the video, and yes, she is going to be BIG. : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0KAhhVaA68

I am concerned that so many breeders don't think their dogs would do well with kids/cats. They should be breeding for sound, happy dogs, not fruitcakes.

The right dog is out there.
 
Jen Welcome
Keep Looking don't get discouraged, your sheltie is out there it just might take some time to connect & and no dog can ever replace another one boy do I know that one , each is special & unique in thier own individual way, that's why they are all able to find a special place in our hearts.

Good luck with your search, just keep at it
 
Hello, Jen, and welcome to the forum.

Your expectations are not too high because you have a legitimate concern that any new Sheltie you bring into your home has to live with a young child, who is currently a toddler, and cats.

Something you may want to consider instead of an adult dog, is an older puppy; one that is already house trained and, if possible, crate trained. A crate trained dog, in your situation, would be very nice since it gives the dog somewhere they can go to when it needs a break, like having their own room in your house. You can teach your son that if the dog is in the crate to leave him alone because he's resting. My Edan was 7 months old when I brought him home. Because he was an older puppy, and a show dog, he was house trained and crate trained. We had very little of the normal puppy behaviors to work through, just some of the 'teenage' grief.

Older dogs, especially if they haven't grown up with children or had a lot of exposure to children, may have difficulty around them regardless of how even tempered they normally are. My own dog, Edan, is like this. He's four years old and the sweetest little thing. Everyone in the extended family loves him and he (and his sister CJ) are included in family events. (In the words of my Aunts-in-law, 'they are better behaved than the children.') However, some of the cousins have young children, between 2 and 4 years of age. One of the girls LOVES dogs and snuggles them like they are plush animals; Edan cannot STAND that and has growled and given warning nips. There are other behaviors from the children he just doesn't want anything to do with either.


Reading your post here, and please forgive me if I'm wrong in this interpretation because text is a horrible medium for conveying the actual emotion and thought behind the words, you sound a little desperate to replace your lost Sheltie; more so than simply giving your son the experience of growing up with a dog. If I'm getting that impression, maybe the breeders and rescue you are contacting are as well and that is making them back away. I may be completely off base here and if I am, I'm sorry.

Your new family dog is out there. Continue to be patient and the right one WILL come along.
 
Hi Jen and welcome to Sheltie Nation.

I'm a long time Sheltie owner. The two shelties I have now are are my 8th and 9th. No two of them have been exactly alike, each were unique and special in their own way. A couple have been closer to me than the others but they have all been loved very much.

I adopted a Sheltie from rescue in August of 2009 and he is amazing with children. I have a couple of pictures of him with my 6 month old grandson, in my album here if you want to take a look. The rescue I worked with is one of the more reasonable that I've seen in both price and requirements. I picked Baxter because he had come from a home with children. He had some physical issues that we had to work through but he was the right choice and is a wonderful pet.

I can tell you are disappointed and discouraged that the right dog has not come along for you but have patience and keep looking he/she is out there somewhere just waiting for you to find him/her. Good luck with your search.
 
pefect sheltie..not!

The search for a perfect sheltie..hmmm...
pictures are probably not the best way to go about this.
I know, we'd all like to think one would just reach out to us.
But a bond probably isn't going to happen overnight anyways.

My dog, Gavin, is perfect for me (but probably not for someone else).
but even though i got him as a puppy, it took time for him and me to bond.
as a pup, you would have no clue he was mine by his behavior.
now, you can tell because he is focused on my presence (my absence is a big trigger for his unease, cause he's supposed to know where I am all the time). oh, he's my 4th sheltie, and all but the first one were 'mine'.
I don't know if we will ever have that extra special, once in a lifetime bond.
But I don't expect it of him, so we just love each other. That is the only thing I need from him (well, that and a better recall!)

maybe you should look at boys to remind you it's never gonna be 'your girl'.
 
Hello, welcome to the forums!!

First take a deep breath..whew..ok your new dog will come to you, you just have to be patient and willing to maybe compromise on some things. You will NEVER EVER be able to replace or replicate your first sheltie. It just wont happen.

Having a two year old son you probably have your hands more than full so I can understand wanting an older somewhat trained dog, as opposed to a puppy, this is where compromise number 1 comes into play, you can either wait say a year or 1 so until your son is older than maybe in preschool a few hours a day and add a puppy so you will have time to devote to both, or build a relationship with a breeder and they often have times where they were growing out a puppy for show and it just doesnt work out, so you can get a teenage puppy 6-18 months.

Compromise number 2, be open to gender. Most people looking for a pet for some reason has to have a female, why this logic i'll never know. I personally prefer males, they are way more willing to please and will stick by you like glue and are generally way more lovable, dont get me wrong I love my girls, but the boys are way more loyal and willing to please.

So hang in there your dog will come, I know members on the forums have been waiting eons for their dog. **cough, cough** labgirl:lol: and their patience will pay off in the end with many happy years with your perfect dog!
 
Lightplum said:
Compromise number 2, be open to gender. Most people looking for a pet for some reason has to have a female, why this logic i'll never know. I personally prefer males, they are way more willing to please and will stick by you like glue and are generally way more lovable, dont get me wrong I love my girls, but the boys are way more loyal and willing to please.
Click to expand...

This is very true! There was nothing like the devotion that my boy had for me. My girls are great....and are perfect dogs and great family pets. But my boy, oh, the way he looked at me. I could do no wrong.
 
I want to encourage you that the right dog is there somewhere.. don't give up, and please don't eliminate a shy dog.. my Belle was shyer than shy when we adopted her 3 1/2 months ago, but she is coming around.. the more important thing is that the dog is not hyper and might be a fear-biter..

keep looking, check rescue sites, contact more breeders that might want to place an adult dog. Don't have your mind set on one color or gender, what is perfect for you might not be anything like you think it will..

don't give up hope.
 
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