I ditto all remarks and advice. If you have a breeder, that should be your first contact and most likely a return will take place with no questions asked. I don't think you are being an ill-responsible pet parent at all, in fact, I think what you are doing is very responsible, as you are looking out for your Sheltie's best interests and keeping your children safe. As others have said, although the outside farm life sounds ideal for a dog, Sheltie's are not outside dogs, they need and will seek the company of their humans. The saying "never out of a Shelties' eye sight" is for a reason. You need to stop beating yourself up and know that you are making the right decision for everyone concerned. Good luck, I will keep good thoughts for you.
Re-homing my Sheltie, and terribly distressed!
- Thread starter astronut
- Start date
Wow, thank you everyone for your comments! I wasn't expecting such a supportive tone. This really help put my feelings in perspective.
I will be telling whomever takes him that I will ALWAYS be willing to take him back if something happens/it just doesn't work out. I will also be willing and happy to look after him when his new family goes out of town for vacation and such.
I thought about contacting the breeder first, but in the end I wasn't sure. She's a reputable breeder, and I think there's a good chance she will rehome him. BUT, I don't think her emotional involvement in his well being is as big as mine. To me, it's personal, I love him, he's a member of the family. I will never give him up if I don't feel like it's really the right family for him. Also, I'd ideally like for him to go to someone that I know, that way I will always be able to see him, and know that he's doing OK. My mother in law would love to take him, but she works more than anyone I know. She just can't. That would be ideal though! Anyhow, as for the breeder, I'm sure she'll find someone suitable, but she won't do a home visit for example, she won't know as many things about his temperament and preferences as I do. If and when I find the right place, I'll call her and tell her before we officially give him to them. Does this seem right?
As for the ranch, I think you guys have good points. Largo does not like being outside by himself, only if we're there with him. He also impulsively runs after things like cars! So, he needs to be in a fenced in yard always if off leash. Their last dog was apparently hit by a car. I spoke to the husband, and he didn't tell me this, I didn't ask. His sister, whom I first spoke to told me. So, when I go visit, I'll ask about it. Did he get hit by a car while on their property? There are a lot of unknowns.
Thank you again for your supportive words. I really appreciate it. I will post about the visit once we go!
I will be telling whomever takes him that I will ALWAYS be willing to take him back if something happens/it just doesn't work out. I will also be willing and happy to look after him when his new family goes out of town for vacation and such.
I thought about contacting the breeder first, but in the end I wasn't sure. She's a reputable breeder, and I think there's a good chance she will rehome him. BUT, I don't think her emotional involvement in his well being is as big as mine. To me, it's personal, I love him, he's a member of the family. I will never give him up if I don't feel like it's really the right family for him. Also, I'd ideally like for him to go to someone that I know, that way I will always be able to see him, and know that he's doing OK. My mother in law would love to take him, but she works more than anyone I know. She just can't. That would be ideal though! Anyhow, as for the breeder, I'm sure she'll find someone suitable, but she won't do a home visit for example, she won't know as many things about his temperament and preferences as I do. If and when I find the right place, I'll call her and tell her before we officially give him to them. Does this seem right?
As for the ranch, I think you guys have good points. Largo does not like being outside by himself, only if we're there with him. He also impulsively runs after things like cars! So, he needs to be in a fenced in yard always if off leash. Their last dog was apparently hit by a car. I spoke to the husband, and he didn't tell me this, I didn't ask. His sister, whom I first spoke to told me. So, when I go visit, I'll ask about it. Did he get hit by a car while on their property? There are a lot of unknowns.
Thank you again for your supportive words. I really appreciate it. I will post about the visit once we go!
jomuir
Forums Enthusiast
My first Sheltie was an 8 yr old from a rescue group. He was given up by a woman who got him when she was single, had one child then was pregnant w/her 2nd when she gave him up to rescue for reasons very similar to yours we were told. (Her husband apparently hated him too which probably added to his short shelf life after kids).
That dog was the best dog, and while he may have missed his first mom, he became an integral part of our family. We still miss him so much & talk about him often. He was truly happy with us until the day he died (if one can predict when a dog is happy, which I think we can w/Shelties). I think in your case re-homing may be best, and that he will adjust better than your guilt is allowing you to imagine. Assuming the adopters are kind, loving people who treat him right.
That dog was the best dog, and while he may have missed his first mom, he became an integral part of our family. We still miss him so much & talk about him often. He was truly happy with us until the day he died (if one can predict when a dog is happy, which I think we can w/Shelties). I think in your case re-homing may be best, and that he will adjust better than your guilt is allowing you to imagine. Assuming the adopters are kind, loving people who treat him right.
tofu pup
Moderator
This sounds good - especially if you carefully explain your reasoning, just as you have to us (it's not working out with your family right now, you love Largo and worked very hard to find just the right home for him, she is welcome to speak to the new family to get to know them, etc.). Just please, do let her know, and make sure that Largo's new owners have her contact info as well.
Something to think about, though - is there a "right of first refusal" clause in your contract? If so, I strongly urge you to honor it. I know it feels like there's no way that the breeder can possibly care as much about your dog as you do, but many breeders are very concerned with the welfare of all of "their puppies". It's fine if you already have a great home lined up and want to suggest it to the breeder, but do keep in mind what you agreed to when you first got the puppy.
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ghggp
Moderator
And that is why sheltie people are just the BEST! They care so much... Even if the dog is not their own...
trini
Forums Sage
I must admit I would be concerned that the husband didn't tell you himself that their last dog had been hit by a car...whether on their property or on the road. Shelties are known for car (or anything else chasing) and if this family doesn't have a safely fenced yard and/or feel it is fine to let their dog run free I wouldn't be comfortable placing a sheltie with them.
If this is not the right family...the right one will come along...take your time placing your Largo so you know in your heart you have given him the best future possible. BTW Asking your vet about clients who might have just had a beloved dog die and who would be interested in adopting is a good way to find reliable homes...many of my fosters got placed by my vets calling me and saying they had a possible home.
Trini
I agree with this. The breeder trusted you with one of her precious pups, and if you signed a contract you are morally, if not legally, obligated to follow through on your commitment. That's a matter of personal integrity. She may well agree with you that this is a potentially good home, she may not want to be involved at all, or she may want him back. You won't know until you make the call.
My other suggestion is that much as you'd like to still be a part of his life - I would commit to staying away at least for the first few months until he settles in with his new family. After that, unless you are really going to be in his life over the long haul - I think it would be best for him if you left him with his new owners, once you are satisfied they are providing a great home.
We re-homed a sheltie. The lady who took her is an aquaintance and facebook friend. I have an open invitation to visit - but I have never gone. I get pictures and updates now and again. She has really bonded with that family and I don't think it would be fair for me to confuse the situation by popping in once a year when I visit Calgary. We do have an agreement that if anything ever happened that she could no longer take care of Kali, I would take her back and be her last home. I have a feeling that's not happening - they love her too much!
I know first hand how difficult this decision is. When I placed my Kali in her arms, I could barely see for the tears. But she is with a wondeful family and that makes me happy.
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Try not to beat yourself up about having to rehome your dog. Before we got our Sheltie, we had a Lab that we ended up needing to rehome. He was more my son's dog than anything, but he couldn't take him when he got married. My husband is having knee problems, and can't get out and walk him -- and he was too big and strong for me to walk. We eventually decided that we needed a smaller dog, and were able to find him a home with a guy who had lost his lab to a divorce, and wanted a new one. Worked out great for the dog, but I will admit I was never that attached to him.
If his country home doesn't work out, keep trying. There are a couple of Sheltie Facebook pages where you might find someone in your area who's looking for a new Sheltie. I've seen several posts on them recently from people who have had their beloved pets die and are looking for replacements.
Good luck!
If his country home doesn't work out, keep trying. There are a couple of Sheltie Facebook pages where you might find someone in your area who's looking for a new Sheltie. I've seen several posts on them recently from people who have had their beloved pets die and are looking for replacements.
Good luck!
Sharon7
Moderator
I agree with everyone's advice so far, but I must add that I'm very concerned about the potential new family having their last dog be hit by a car. With Shelties you need to be almost hyper-vigilant to keep them safe from things like chasing cars, or chasing a cat/squirrel/rabbit out into the street. Especially if he's been a city dog so far. I don't think the less of you for re-homing for the reasons you gave but I would urge you to contact the breeder. The ones I've had experience with are really picky about where their dogs go.
When we got Brooke last year at 7 years old we had many conversations with her breeder, and she came down herself to check us, our home/yard and our other Shelties out. She wanted to make sure Brooke went to the "perfect" home. (And, she did!!!)
When we got Brooke last year at 7 years old we had many conversations with her breeder, and she came down herself to check us, our home/yard and our other Shelties out. She wanted to make sure Brooke went to the "perfect" home. (And, she did!!!
)Sheltiez4evr
Forums Regular
Love and Care
Hi,
You obviously want to do what is best for your family and for Largo. Make sure you place him well and don't neat yourself up.
Contact your breeder for help. Use your good common sense in finding just the right family. A family who are experienced dog guardians and have open hearts, patience, love and joy and stability. A fenced yard and a soft bed, attention, good,food and treats help dogs feel at home in their new homes.
We have adopted four re homed Shelties, and each has made the transition well.
You're doing the right thing, out of love for your Sheltie. Life isn't easy nor is it perfect. Don't be too critical of yourself. Life is to be managed.
Good luck and manage well.
Hi,
You obviously want to do what is best for your family and for Largo. Make sure you place him well and don't neat yourself up.
Contact your breeder for help. Use your good common sense in finding just the right family. A family who are experienced dog guardians and have open hearts, patience, love and joy and stability. A fenced yard and a soft bed, attention, good,food and treats help dogs feel at home in their new homes.
We have adopted four re homed Shelties, and each has made the transition well.
You're doing the right thing, out of love for your Sheltie. Life isn't easy nor is it perfect. Don't be too critical of yourself. Life is to be managed.
Good luck and manage well.