Wishing for an angel....

LadyMcBeth said:
Thanks to each of you for the comforting words, thoughts and prayers. And Barb, I cannot begin to imagine what you have gone through.

I didn't know I had so many tears in me. I believe the Bible says God keeps each tear in a bottle just for us...that is a comfort to know He is with me.

But she is everywhere in this little trailer we moved too...with lots of outdoor space for rolling in the grass, fetching sticks, and taking walks with those oh so intriging smells everywhere.

I am filling out applications to move. This RV we moved into is pretty small... it's funny how when Anna was here it was just the right size for us. Now that she is gone, it's too small. Makes no sense.

I am sorry that each of you know first hand how this feels. When I lost Heidi, the German Shepherd I had for 12 years, I didn't feel like this. But I had a husband then too....it's been just Anna and me for the last 11 years (she was 3 when I rescued her). I remember a few years ago I got involved with a man who seemed almost perfect, but didn't pay any attention to Anna..wouldn't pet her or acknowledge her. I told him one day if it ever got to be a choice between him and Anna, I'd pick Anna. We didn't last very long....and I got the best end of that deal!

Thanks for listening. I love looking at albums of shelties here....there are some beautiful pups here. I will get another sheltie when the time is right...I love their yappy, loyal, sturdy mannerisms...

Thanks again for listening.
Click to expand...

I don't share much of my personal life here,but many know that I lost a child as well. I can certainly relate to writing in a diary.I know that months before my son passed away,he asked me to take him to the mall one day.While there he purchased a diary for me.
His words to me that day,have stayed with me,and it has been going on 16 yrs,since he passed. But he told me,mom..no matter what happens to me in the future,I want you to begin to heal.Writing your words down,will help you.

Not knowing,that months later he would be gone.It was a part of my healing. I know you are hurting,but I will say this with respect to you.

As I was faced with this same realization,the very month my son was killed.Almost 2 weeks after his death,my youngest (at the time was 16)..he came to me and said,Mom my birthday is in 2 days,and I need you. Believe me,I really took a look at myself,and said yes i am needed. It was that moment,that even though it was painful,I began slowly to put one foot in front of the other.Some days I would not do well,but it was a beginning.

Although the story is not the same as losing a pet, know that people are there for you.You may not see it right now,becuase of your grieving,but please let them be there for you. I cannot express my deepest sympathy enough for you,and hesitated on posting. But know you have been in my prayers,that you will again smile,the memories will always be with you.And there may be a time,when another pup enters your life.it may happen when you least expect it,and it may not.

We are all here for you,and are keeping you wrapped in our arms.you will find peace.
((hugs))
 
This is such an awesome forum! I can feel the love and the pain from each person, and that you're all willing to share is just a testament to the strength of the human character.
 
I just read your post and of course reading it brought back lots of memories of how I felt after my "heart dog", Abby, had to be sent to the bridge due to kidney disease. She was 12 and we were on a camping trip out west when her kidneys just stopped functioning. We found a compassionate vet who put her into his clinic and tried to save her but it was not to be. So, we had to put her to sleep and arrange to pick up her ashes the following week. It was so hard to return home without her! Her bowls and toys were all over the house, I kept thinking I saw her around every corner...everything seemed unreal without her. I too said I would not get another dog for at least a year but instead, when my friend who does sheltie rescue called me a few months later to say she had a 2 year old female sheltie who was sweet and beautiful and needed a home... and would I be interested....I went to see her and brought her home. I love my Summer very much and she is probably the prettiest sheltie I have had but sometimes I slip and call her Abby (and it has been 6 years)and I will always miss my little Abby-girl and she will always have a special place in my heart. You do need to wait and give yourself time to heal but eventually you will be ready for the joy of a new sheltie...an added love, not a replacement. All of us who have been where you are can feel your pain and send our hugs.
 
It's never easy losing someone you love. I can not add anything that hasn't already been said. Just know your pain will eventually ease and there are lots of people thinking and praying for you. ((Hugs))
 
I just wanted to thank all of you for your wonderful posts. I cannot read this thread without crying...but it is crying with you all, and not alone.

I have been accepted into an apartment that, because of my disability, will offer me a reduced rent..significantly lower, in fact. And they allow pets. As soon as I get settled, I will apply for a rescue sheltie. The $300.00/fee they require seemed impossible, but now I can save for it in two months, as well as get the Revolution the dog will need. I find out tomorrow when I can move in but I hope it is soon.

I still cry for her everyday. I don't think that will go away for a long time. I have been laying in bed for days, not doing anything. Yesterday was four weeks. I don't even feel ready to get up yet, but life is calling....

Just an update. The next thead I start will maybe be announcing my new sheltie.

Beth
 
Beth

My heart is crying righ along with you. I am glad you have been accepted into the new apartment. I lost my Noah unexpectedly in November of 2009 and then my Mom totally unexpectedly in June of 2010 and am dealing with very serious health issues with my Dad. The grief will lose the edge of sharpness and you will go on. It takes time. Tears are good - they help you heal.
 
Thank you for your update. I'm so glad you're thinking ahead now. I hope the move will be a good one for you, and we will all look forward to your new thread announcing a new furkid! Thoughts and prayers are with you!
 
Another week, and I still cry every day...and every time I read these posts, I am amazed at the love and depth of the responses. I truely am not crying alone, I know.

I am moving soon. I have picked out one of a few dogs on the Austin Sheltie Rescue page. I like Allie, she is the right size, and I have the attention for her. Or Sunny...if you have time, take a look. I want them all.

A Sheltie-Forum angel has extended her help with the deposit, so I should have a new friend next month, I hope. I am excited in looking forward a bit. I will always look back....

I have no wisdom or insight here. Just the fact that it hurts to lose anyone this close to you, dog or human. She was my child, my friend, my life. I am lost without her. But I am moving forward. It's funny when you think of them, the weird places...like at the store yesterday...no treats to buy Anna....it made me sad.

Thank you so very much for putting your hearts and souls here.

Beth
 
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It sounds like you are surrounded by angels! Do keep moving forward, and one day you may find you are laughing through the tears at a fond memory while making new ones with your new rescued friend. And we will all laugh with you!
 
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